By Ahtiya Liles


I am a proud purveyor of the selfie.  If I know there is good lighting and I won’t look super tired, I’m going to take a selfie.  If there’s bad lighting and I’m bored, I’m going to create good lighting and funky shadows, and I’m going to take a selfie.  If I’m with people I enjoy spending time with, and we’re having an amazing time, I’m going to take a selfie with them.

I can definitely say that I #LoveMySelfie.

For those who are unaware, the #LoveMySelfie movement (if we want to call it a movement) promotes self-love through the power of the ever-so popular “selfie.”  (And, if you’ve been living under a rock and somehow don’t know, a selfie is a photo that you take of yourself.)

Selfies are very popular on social media, as we all know, and there are some people out there who tear down the idea of the selfie and those who take them.  They label it as self-absorbed or promoting a society where everyone is obsessed with how they look.  Personally, I believe that everything needs to be handled in moderation.  If you’re taking a selfie while you’re driving, then maybe you should reconsider your choices.  My dilemma with calling the selfie “self-absorbed” is that you’re telling people that it is bad to take a picture of themselves because they think they look good and are rocking the selfie lighting.

Let me reiterate: by labeling selfie-takers as conceited and self-absorbed, you are perpetuating an ideology that says we shouldn’t love ourselves and celebrate the love we have for our faces and our bodies.  And if you are confused by this logic, let me break it down into smaller bits and pieces.

A. Someone takes a selfie and may or may not post it somewhere on social media.

B. Them taking that selfie means that they enjoy the way they look and are not repulsed when they look like in the mirror.  They have some level of self-esteem.

C. You tell them that they are self-absorbed.

D. This person argues that they are not, but now your comments are stuck floating in their head.

E. The next time they think about taking a selfie, they begin to think about your comment.

F. They begin to worry about whether or not other people believe that they are self-absorbed or conceited.

G. They do not take the selfie for fear of being criticized.

H. They begin to wonder whether or not they are self-absorbed because they enjoy taking selfies and have some level of self-esteem.

I. They stop taking selfies.

And this may seem a bit drastic when I stretch it out step-by-step, but let’s use some reading comprehension skills, shall we?

If we go back to letter C (“You tell them that they are self-absorbed.”), we can see that this is where the first problem lies.  I absolutely hate when people attempt to tear down others who have self-esteem.  I see it as a weakling move, and it’s disgusting.  If someone is taking a selfie, they should not be labeled as self-absorbed just because you are uncomfortable that they are very comfortable looking at themselves.  There are worse things in the world than taking a selfie that can be labeled as “self-absorbed.”

Now, let’s jump to letter H (“They begin to wonder whether or not they are self-absorbed because they enjoy taking selfies.”).  This causes SO MANY problems.  Once someone gets it into their head that loving themselves and being okay with looking at themselves in a mirror is SELF-ABSORBED, we have a major problem.  Everyone should love themselves and be able to express this love of self in any way they choose. We live in a society where the so-called ideal is to be confident, but as soon as we have confident people (and this mostly applies to women), it is a problem.  Confident people threaten our societal norms of self-deprecation and low self esteem that helps to fund the beauty industry, so it is an absolute must that we try to squash the confidence when it arises (please note the load of sarcasm -_-).  I am so sick of it.

If the lighting is good, or even if the lighting is bad, or it’s dark outside and I disappear, leave me be!  If I want to take a selfie, I am not self-absorbed.  I am comfortable looking in a mirror (which took some years to achieve, I might add), and it’s really none of your damn business, anyway.  I am in full support of someone having a #FLAWLESS selfie photo shoot and captioning it #FeelingMyself.  If you have the self-esteem to do so, then YASSSSS!  Do it!  And be proud of it!  Because the haters are gonna hate, and the hates are IRRELEVANT to you!  The haters are irrelevant to everybody.  Now do me the favor and, if you so choose, take a selfie.  And if you also so choose, post it somewhere.  If you need a list of possible hashtags, please refer to the list I have supplied below.  🙂  Have selfie-ing!

#LoveMySelfie  #LoveMyself  #HatersGonnaHate  #FLAWLESS # #FeelingMyself  #goodlightingthough  #selflove  #Confident  #IWokeUpLikeThis