To the SUNY Purchase Class of 2020: good luck.

Last week, Purchase College freshmen started their journey! Yay!  These freshmen were filled with anticipation, nervousness, maybe anger and regret, and, I hope, happiness.  For most of these freshmen, they just started their studies at the college they’ll be at for the next four years.

You’ve just secured a seat on a great ride.  I’m not going to pretend that Purchase is a utopia or perfect school because, on a corporate level, it’s not.  On a social level, it’s still not perfect.  Think of this as me (who is a junior) attempting to prep you for the wild ride that is being a Purchase College student.

During your time at Purchase:

You’re going to realize that you’re not as liberal and open-minded as you think.

You’re going to realize that there’s a lot to learn.

Your buttons will be pushed and your thinking will be challenged, and you’re going to hate that.

You’ll meet awesome people in one breath who will turn into monsters in the next.

You’ll be tempted to dye your hair at least once and get three new piercings.

You’ll want to do quintessential Purch things like see a piece of art or a performance that you wouldn’t normally go see.

You’ll want to go see another weird piece of art when you realize that you hated the experience beforehand.  Take it from someone who knows: don’t do it.

The Stood will seem like the coolest thing ever those first three months of freshmen year.  But after Fall Fest and Fall Ball, you’ll realize that dancing around with a bunch of sweaty people just isn’t worth it.  Go order yourself a pizza.

Dominos will seem like your lord and savior because they are open until 2am.  After ordering from them for the upteenth time, you’ll realize that their pizza isn’t all that great.  Instead, order the cheesy bread.

You’ll wish the heat was turned on before October 15th.

Coming to grips with the progress you still have to make as a human being will crush your soul, but you’ll get over it and better yourself.  And to celebrate, you’ll probably go get another piercing, tattoo, or dye your hair the color of the rainbow.

You’ll mess up and call someone outside of their preferred gender pronouns.  It happens to the best of us.  Just realize your mistake and apologize.

Everything in the outside world will seem super heteronormative, and that’s because it is.  And this will bother you.

The transition of going back home after being at Purchase for months will feel like culture shock, and not the good kind like what we have in April.

Your expectations for Culture Shock are gonna be way too high that first year, but once you lower them and accept Culture Shock for what it is, you’ll have oodles of fun.

Protesting will seem like the answer to every little problem.

You will walk all the way to the laundry room only to have half the machines occupied and the other half not working (hopefully with our new vendor Automatic Laundry, this won’t be a problem, though).

Big Haus is and will always be the Trap House.  Accept this and be brave, my friends.

Starbucks three times a day will seem like a brilliant idea.

You will approach the Neuberger Museum of Art and say to yourself, “I should go in there! It’s free!”  And you will keep walking.

You will under-estimate the Career Development Center.

You will tow the line of awkwardness with your RA when you show up at their door on a Friday night probably drunk and wanting to talk.  They will pretend they are asleep because nobody wants to write that Incident Report.

Your Facebook events page will be full of invites from other Purch Peeps trying to get you to come to their show, concert in the Stood, art opening, audition, etc…

Acoustic covers of obscure Indie songs will be played on the Great Lawn on that first perfect day of Spring.

Septum piercings will become as common as eyelids.

You will dodge someone on a longboard or skateboard and barely escape with your life.

You will attend at least one Cheese Club meeting, and you will either love it or hate it.  There is no in between.

You’ll find out the Purchase Rainbow made an appearance hours later via Instagram and be sad that you missed it…for the fourth time in a row.

To my fellow Purchase Peeps: have anything to add?  To new freshmen: what are you most excited about?

Leave your thoughts in the comments section below!

Ahtiya

I’m on Twitter (@_AhtiyaL_), Instagram (@_AhtiyaL_), and Facebook (Ahtiya L).  Follow my accounts and like my Facebook page!  Please and thank you!


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